Dear Baby D,

Baby D,

I have been thinking about you since I found out you were coming into this world. I know one day you will understand all of this; I know one day this will all come into a full circle on what this life consists of. I don't know what it will be or how glamorous your life will be but I have high hopes in YOU. I do know though that you have a brother and a sister in Florida that love you already. 

When I found out you were going to be in this world there were many mixed emotions that were coming from every direction. When you are old enough you will understand. Then you can make the decisions and choices for yourself. I do not really know your mommy but I am sure she is going to love you with everything she has; I know she has been waiting on for you a really long time and will do her best to protect you. It's a mothers instinct to protect our babies. I sometimes just wonder why she chose my father to have a life long commitment with. 

I want to tell you the truth about everything. I want to fill you in already on the 411 but your just not old enough to understand your still baking in the oven. I am going to start writing you letters so you know that I never did not think about you. I want you to know that I am always here. I want you to know that I understand. 

My biggest fear for you is that you will get a dose of what I got. Our father is an amazing person when he is sober. He is funny, he is crazy, he has a personality that lights up the room. He is always helping somebody. When I was growing up he worked at a funeral home my life was like the movie "My Girl". Everything he said he sang I do it too... and now my son does it. Oh yeah, you have an Uncle down here in Florida too. I have yet to tell him because he does not know about my father he only knows about my step-father. We have strong genes in our family so I know if your anything like our father you will have a heart of gold, with a beaming personality for all to love. 

I know you will be okay in this life. My prayer is that you never will feel alone in this world. That you will always feel loved and never alone. My hope your purpose in this world is much bigger than it seems now.  Someday my words will make perfect sense. 

I want to write you often in a journal at home and keep it safe. I will give it to you when you graduate, sounds like a good idea? I just want you to know that I did not not want to know you. I want to be there in your life... but our daddy has issues which my HOPE & PRAYER is you NEVER have to find out about. 

I just always need you to know that I think about you daily, and I'll be there for you as much as I can<3 But most importantly, I need you to know that your not alone<3

Love,

Your older sistaaaa!