6 years ago.
6 years ago today
was the first day of my new life.
I was still Abby...
I was still funny..kind.
Generous.
This new Abby.. was an Addict.
I still had the same morals and values
I just had to find them again.
The journey there was not easy...
Just as the journey through my addiction was not easy.
A lot happened... tons of emotions...
Not one easy.
Just as the life of an addict is not easy.
Year #
I completed Rehab.
Got a car with my own money (legal money LOL)
Met a man.
Found myself.
Had a job.
Living with my parents.
Moved out with my boyfriend.
Had stability.
My days never changed-I was on a schedule
I did the same thing every day.
Year #
This was my trying year. (In order)
Found out I was pregnant (September 2007).
Indicted on felony trafficking charges in Ohio living in Florida (October 2007).
Engaged & 1st court appearance. (November 2007)
Judge:How do you plea Ms. Davis?
Abby: Not guilty your honor
Never thought I would hear those words.
Planning a wedding.
2nd court appearance (December 2007). This was the day I had to change my plea to guilty.
Uncertain if the Judge would let me fly back home to Florida.
3 months pregnant. Thankfully, able to fly home.
December 22, 2007 married the love of my life. In case any questions arise, I knew my husband long before I married him he had been a friend of the family for years... everything I needed I took the risk and fell in love.
Went on my honeymoon and had Christmas at his parents house (December 2007.
3rd court appearance (January 2008)-Judgement day.
My attorney and the prosecutor worked it out that I would get no prison time, or treatment except counseling in Florida and everything could be done in Florida. They did not think prison was the best solution because I had been gone from the lifestyle for a while maintaining sobriety, and I was pregnant. I also knew though that the Judge could say anything he wanted and deny anything he wanted.
I ended up getting Probation, community service hours, GED requirement... blah blah. But, the catch was 6 weeks after I had my baby I had to return to Ohio to attend a program for addicts.
Shitty thing is... for 1/2 the year in Ohio taxpayers had to pay for me. I know crazy that's what I think about.
Rewind?
What did you say?
Yes, leave my 1st born to attend a program in Ohio. Leave my baby in Florida and go to Ohio for SIX MONTHS!!!
After I left court that day I was to check in with a probation officer. I then had to get accepted into the state of Florida because of my felony charges and be assigned a probation officer here.
I was then to go into the program I was to attend after the baby and get an assessment.
So... from January to May I got ready for my baby boy.
Year #
I had my baby boy 8lbs 12 oz at 5:48pm on
June 26th, 2008.
Precious.
Fulfillment in life.
If I did not have a reason to live then he WAS my reason.
For 6 weeks, I did the mommy thing...
breast-fed but for only 3 weeks; my mom and hubby's mom did not want him attached.
Tried to see him in every outfit I could.
Took tons of pictures.
And cherished my 6 weeks with my little family.
Went to Jail (July 2008).
Went to the program (July 2008)
Went through hell came back... went through hell again
and came back.
I am still bitter about the situation having to leave my baby
but I am thankful I got to go to the program after all
it made me a better mother, wife, sister, daughter, niece, granddaughter.
I am forever thankful at times.
Released from the program (December 2008).
Just in time for a brand new year!!
Year #
Came home.
Stay at home mom.
Not going to lie at times I wanted so badly to go back where I was.
I was comfortable there.
A new mom with emotions like whoa.
A baby I never knew.
When I was away I would think of the book Where is my Mother?
About the bird and the baby bird can't find his mom.
After West Central I grew depressed. Isolated. Alone. Fearful of everything.
I enrolled in school for College in 2009.
The depression was still there.
I became fearful to get in my car afraid I would be taken away.
Started counseling.
Quit counseling. I had PTSD.
She was helpful but nothing she said would change the fear I had to be the one to change it.
I would not go anywhere. I went to the store that is not even a mile from my house that's it.
Year #
Starting to grow.
Starting to figure myself out again. Regain control over my life.
See being in that place we were told what to do. When to do it. Basically, can I wipe my ass? Oh Ms. Davis you have to send a request up for that.
It was an emotional boot camp. But, I grew to become familiar with that place at times I still wanted to go back.
Took a family road trip for the first time to North Carolina.
Went on a girls only trip with my sister in laws.
Lived in the Bahamas.
Lost weight.
Starting loving myself again.
Year #
Today. In love. Full of life. Funny. Inspirational. Graduated with a Psychology degree.
Moving soon. Started a blog. Hopefully reaching that one person.
I feel big things coming for my life, my family...
I am taking a trip to Vegas this year.
I am going on another road trip with my husband and son.
Beach trips. Water Parks.
Being a mom and wife more importantly
and living my life
because if I put pressure to live in the future it brings anxiety and depression.
If I live in the past then I am bringing up emotions I do not want to think about.
I only live for today.
Because this is my
Happy 6 loooong years:)
It's like having a birthday.
I was reflecting as I wrote.
Brings back many thoughts... maybe new blogs...
all in all
I am here today
I am happy.
I am alive.
Until next time....
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