The "Game"

I have three VERY close friends that are battling addiction still. I keep in very close contact with them because I know one day they will open up too me, and realize that I have been where they are. Last night, I got into a huge discussion with my cousin about why she continues to lie to me when I know exactly what's going on. She says it's because I have been out of the "game" too long. To me it is just like yesterday... she proceeded to tell me that I may have forgot some of the aspects of living with addiction. I was actually pretty upset by those words... #1. If I ever forget where I came from then I would not be coming up on 6 years sober... #2. If I ever forgot every aspect of the "game" I would not be coming up on 6 years sober... #3. I will NEVER forget where I was 5 1/2 years ago... I explained to her that it upsets me that they feel the need to LIE when I know the "game" all too well... I am not stupid. She agreed that if I did forget the "game" then I would probably have relapsed. I told her that she would figure it out once she got away from those people. It's those little things that will lead to big things if I ever forgot where I came from. If I ever lost sight of what was going on around me, or if I ever forgot every aspect (even the smallest of things) I guarantee I would not be here writing this and sharing my story.

I was trying to explain to her that what hurts me the most is the lie that comes with the story. If one keeps lying, when they are sober why should I believe you. I know the game... I never wanted to call a friend of mine that was doing good and explain to her how low my life was but that friend did not have a clue about addiction. I told her that it was different because I DO understand addiction; I lived that life and will never forget any aspect of that life.

It makes me sad.... but I feel like I cannot give up on these three VERY important people in my life. If I gave up on them then they couldn't call me when they were really ready to tell me the truth (which I already know). But, I also am the person to NEVER give up on anybody I love. I will always leave my light on, my cell on for them to call or come by... no matter the time of day. One day they will see it how I see it... and one day they will understand where I am coming from. 

I also explained to my cousin that if she left the life she was living... she could be where I am right now. I can only pray, and hope they get out because we all know where it can lead when they do not... Death or Prison. I do not want anybody I know going there.... getting out would be the safest. 

Every night when I lay my head down I pray for those suffering... I pray for those inside rehab.. I pray for those struggling... I pray for the families dealing with their children... and I pray that one day they will see the light.

Until Next Time....