My Opinions

So, I had posted on my Facebook page about possibly doing some new things. Somebody posted this "great idea sort of like an online group and don’t have to sit around a room watching other people nod out!"

How true is this? I do not know if anybody else have had similar situations but I have. When I first got clean I was all about going to meetings thinking those people there would keep my sober, happy, and not wanting to use. 

*Before I go any further I would like to say these are my opinions no bashing, no insulting, if you do not like do not read it* 

That was not the case.. Going to the meetings made me want to use more just like watching the show Intervention makes me want to use. I do not watch it, just like I do not go to meetings. 

When I went to my first meeting I was stunned at how many people walked in there that were so high they probably had no idea where or what they were doing. As I understand that some people HAVE to go to the meetings because of court, parents, spouses, or whatever the reason maybe... my problem was not that they came to the meeting that way-the problem was a leader from the meeting never once told them to either wake up, sit up, or get out! After going to meetings for about 3 months I decided to explain to my mom the reason for not wanting to go back. In a way I think she felt I was making excuses then I think she understood after a week or so. She would ask I would explain.. I would put my feelings out there that it was not doing me any good to sit around and look at these individuals coming to the meetings high. I also did not think it was my responsibility to open up and tell them how I felt. I thought the leader of the group should do that. You cannot miss somebody sleeping through and nodding off during your lecture on how to stay clean, and how to live your life sober. It was a distraction... 

I came to realize that the will power I had to stay sober was enough-the support I had to stay sober was amazing-the counseling I was doing was okay. I was doing okay.. Plus I had ultimately left the people, places, and things BUT that does not mean it is okay or it makes it any better that I left the people I was using with... because drugs are everywhere. Did I tell doubt myself that the meetings would save my life? At times yes... but I turned to something else. I turned to the internet 6 years ago after not going to my meetings to see what was out there. I found a Forum group I posted on about my feelings; I found online meetings, and other means of support to help the situation. At 3 months clean I knew at any time I could easily turn back and use-leave the life I was living but I had no desire to return to that life. When I went to rehab I truly knew I was done getting high, I knew that I was better than the life I was living. I knew that I was worth it... did it take me a while to realize all these things? Yeah, about a year and then going to the program really helped me to realize those things.

Some people may not like the things I am saying... some may not agree but I have and am entitled to my own opinions just as you are also. No hard feelings if you would like to state your opinion, or simply click the "unlike" button on my Facebook because I have one goal in mind and that is to help others. That does not mean I do not know my steps. I read my Recovery Bible every day, my NA book, the Why We Do What We Do book, and addiction memoirs that help me to grow each and every day. I cannot let other people opinions affect the way I feel (I am defiantly a people pleaser). 

I feel and am very passionate that every body’s recovery is different. Everybody has different ways of coping if one things works for you it may not work for others. My feeling is if you are not taking drugs, living the life the right way and not the wrong... and staying sober then you’re doing the right thing. Now, I do understand why people need meetings, and how they can live and breathe them but meetings are not for me. You may wonder also why I do not like the show Intervention-I think they show way too much drug use, and alcohol use and should focus more on the individuals needing the help and the families. The show should maybe be 15 minutes of showing the type of drugs, what they do on drugs.. and the rest of the 45 minutes should be on helping the addict and the family. That is why I loved the show on TLC called Addicted with Kristina Wandzilak she focused on the addict, and the families and did not glamorize on the drug itself. 

Everybody has their way of coping. Everybody's recovery is different. We are all different, our stories are different... but in all we are all addicts’ weather in recovery, still using... we will always be addicts we are never cured. We take it 

and

I am in NO means telling you to not go to a meeting I am simply giving you my opinions on them and how I feel. Some people may run their meetings differently than what I went to I do not know. We are all different, and we all cope differently. I have managed to stay clean for 6 years with the way I am doing my recovery and plan on having many more BUT, for now I am sober JUST FOR TODAY!!

Until Next Time....